Divorce Help

Divorce is a complicated and often drawn out process. Here are some things to consider in order to prepare yourself for embarking on the divorce process.

Divorce Help for Thinking About Your Children

If you are considering divorce, there’s a good chance you have children, and that they will be affected by your divorce. Remember to bear in mind that your children need you in their lives. If you are the parent who wont’ have custody, it may be that the pain of seeing your children is worse than not seeing them. If so, that’s tough luck for you, you still have to see them. They need you, full stop. The long-term damage caused by having you abandon them isn’t worth your avoidance of a little bit of emotional pain.

Divorce Help for Dealing With Your Ex

Divorce court is not the Roman Coliseum. Don’t use it to do battle with your ex. There are revenge-minded attorneys who will be more than happy to bleed you dry in an attempt to help you get your revenge and satisfy your pride. It will be costly. Is it worth giving a lawyer all your money just to make sure your ex doesn’t get any?

Along those lines, don’t refuse to negotiate. Put your emotions to the side and work toward an agreement that’s fair for both of you; you can deal with your emotions later.

As tempting as it may feel at times, don’t refuse to communicate with your ex. You must be able and willing to communicate in a civil manner and discuss things and work toward a settlement. Remember, it won’t pay on any level to be too adversarial, and the satisfaction of revenge tends to be very short-lived.

Don’t get caught up in blaming each other either. It’s a waste of time, and damages the process of reaching an equitable agreement. Be aware that jeopardizing such an important process in order to play the blame game reflects poorly on your character.

Divorce Help for You

Don’t fish for what you want to hear, accept the truth. Seek objective opinions. Don’t listen to obsequious people just because they tell you what you want to hear.

It’s tempting to believe you had no role in the marital problems. Like most things involving relationships, it takes two. You’re one of them. Be realistic with yourself and your role in things, and don’t allow yourself to get caught up in a childish blame game.